Dysfunction and manipulation should not be welcome in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. And caring about your own well being isn’t selfish, it is essential if you want to lead an emotionally healthy life. Relationships with toxic people are never sustainable and sooner or later it will take a toll on you so hopefully you’ll take a step back and reevaluate what you want in your life if you find yourself relating to these fifteen signs.
- Every crisis in their life turns into your responsibility. If you don’t drop everything to help them with their issue, you’re afraid they are going to do or say things that will further uproot your life.
- They always seem to start a fight right when you think that you are doing well. If there is a lull in the relationship or there is peace for a prolonged time, they start a conflict in order to get a more “passionate” response out of you.
- They use social media to passive aggressively express their discontent. For example, they will post something that shows they are unhappy but will give you the silent treatment.
- They use things you’ve told them in confidence against you when they are upset. Any insecurity you may have opened up to them about becomes a weapon to be used against you.
- You feel constantly on edge and scared that you’re going to upset them.
- When life is tough on them, they will try to manipulate the emotional environment around them so everyone else is just as miserable as they are.
- They accuse you of being disloyal and untrustworthy and use this to excuse their behavior, even though you have never been disloyal to them.
- They have contacted or threatened to contact people you are close with and will start fights with them. The longer you are in the relationship, the more isolated you feel from your family and friends.
- There are no boundaries in your relationship, especially if they are in a bad mood. They will threaten to show up at your job or anywhere else, in order to ‘resolve’ issues on their terms.
- You spend a majority of your relationship feeling ashamed and guilty. No matter what you do for them or how much time you spend on them, it never feels like it is enough. You always feel like you have to prove yourself to them.
- You feel worn down and end up agreeing with them just to achieve some peace but nothing ever truly gets resolved.
- They never really apologize. They might say the words “I’m sorry…BUT I wouldn’t have done/said ______ if you didn’t do ______.” They will also blame whatever they are going through or create outside issues that will paint them as the victim. They don’t take full responsibility for their actions.
- You feel as if your happiness is completely subjected to their whims. You sometime choose to remain silent and give in to whatever they want or say out of fear you may say something wrong.
- They do not want you to speak to others about your relationship problems but will frequently refer to people they’ve talked to and use others opinions to reinforce their stances on issues/conflicts.
- You find yourself lying to others so they do not know the full extent of what you are dealing with in your relationship.
No one deserves the stress and headaches toxic relationships bring. You may feel that you’re sacrificing so much in order to make the person you love happy, but entertain the idea that it may never be enough. And I know that that might sound terribly heartbreaking to you but the less you allow negativity to enter your life, the happier and healthier you’ll be.